The tying of the knot.

In just over 7 weeks I am getting married! 

It's a surreal, exciting, amazing, mind blowing, life defining, earth shatteringly significant thing. I feel like a man. A grown up. An adult. A leader. I'm preparing to be husband to a wife, which is a massive, humungous and stunning thing. I am no longer a student, I am pursuing a career, looking for a home, and getting married. Yet I still feel that the boyish, wide-eyed scamp of a lad that dreamt of one day finding my princess and marrying her isn't too far behind me. I vividly remember so much of my childhood. My thoughts, my ambitions, my mind ticking over, my desires, the things I pined over, innocence... As a 21 year old, I suppose it isn't so long ago at all. But here we are. Rebekah, the girl of my dreams and hopes was thrust inescapably before me. She was the one. I began to realise it quickly, and had every intention of marrying her before I even asked her on a date. I found her, or rather, she was given to me. This woman, my best friend, is going to be my wife in a very short space of time. Wow. 

The more I think about it, the more I realise the folly of assuming or declaring that I am as prepared for marriage as I can possibly be. I'm not sure that such a thing could ever be said, and it was encouraging to hear the great teacher John Hosier recently talk of his shortcomings as a husband, even after 40 years of marriage and a life characterised by intense biblical understanding and Christlikeness. John Piper is another hero of the faith that talks openly of his failures and issues maritally speaking. Still, I am doing as much as I can to prepare, reading, studying, doing marriage preparation and prayer together as a couple, regulating my attitude, my patience, my selflessness and my humility. I normally fail in these pursuits, but my hope is that I will improve and that my acute awareness and a frank evaluation of my shortcomings is probably the best place to start on the road to becoming a better husband. As they say, "The journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step!"

So there is a month and a half to go, a wedding to finish planning, a job to be chased after, a house to be found, and the deepening and weighty sense of the responsibilities I must find the strength to carry. The next season in my life is one in which my shoulders must broaden. My integrity and earnestness must hold fast, my relationship with Jesus and my understanding of God's word must grow and inform all that i do and say and think. This isn't a dress rehearsal. The curtain is about to go up. Show-time. Bring it on. 

To write once more

Here I am once more, after quite a while and an insanely busy month or two...It's been a crazy time and it feels great to be able to find a spare bit of time to blurt and ramble and externalise some of my thoughts for the benefit of my own inner well-being and whoever else might be interested (as yet, that's not many!) 

Since I last posted, a great many things have happened, some fun, some not so fun, but all part of the great adventure of life and all opportunities for growth and the development of my character. It's all too much to put in one posting but i'll hopefully get around to it all eventually. 

The biggest transition of recent times is that I have completed my University Degree! After 17 years in the British Educative machine, I have finally been spat out and flung into the 'real world' (as it's so often and repugnantly referred to by those no longer studying) I'm not sure yet how I really feel about it...It's a strange mixture of emotions. I certainly feel some relief that the intense all day-everyday dissertation writing is now at an end, but the sense of direction and purpose (education) that has characterised my entire life thus far has also been removed, leaving me with the question; what next? Having lived in a constant state of preparation for the next set of formal assessments, it's a strange thing to no longer have any on the horizon. 

 The final 4 weeks of term have been really intense and stressful, spending little time with my fiancee and much time staring ineffectually at the computer screen, fueled by coffee and the advancing deadline. But- it's all over now and it was a joy handing over a huge heavy wadge of paper knowing that i'd worked by butt off to finish in time. If it were possible to somehow quantify the cumulative effects of  formal education on me as a person, my skills, my abilities and my personality, i'd be interested to see the results. Maybe I'll have the faintest idea one day.  

Now my attention must turn to getting a job and finding a flat, because I get married in 8 weeks! The way I feel about all that is probably best left for another day as it's getting late...lets just say; it's all VERY exciting!

Will be back soon!

Ta ta for now.